Below are the 7 most recent journal entries recorded in Cameo's LiveJournal:

Monday, November 4th, 2002
11:17 pm	apparently I was worried for not! Big bad Billy is more plagued by me than I have been by him. Alls well now. I wont fear something tricky from him when he hasn't been able to figure out If I was tricky or not. Ohh well. New plan. No more evil boys. I have found that physical illness (at least for me) is a direct result of mental disease. I hope that now I'll get a better grip on my recent string of being sick. I dreamed about rewiring the radio in my room last night. Maybe I'll try it. (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 3rd, 2002
10:00 pm	Don't mess with Bill... What is one supposed to do when they are very seriously attracted to someone they know is a truly bad person? He's brilliant. He's physically splendid. He's the reason that potential had to be a word. He feels like ancient egypt. He's manipulative, evil, paranoid delusional, genetically insane, and now (just recently) a fucking tweeker. Fortunately until now the problem has been taken from my hands. He has been far from my stomping grounds. Now he's back and I just can't help it, my mind won't put him down. I beat him once. Luck really. He is truly the strongest enemy I have ever had to face.... because I war not only him but myself as well. Right now this war is still mental but, soon I know I'll be faced with it in person. If it doesn't happen and all this stress was for not.... GOOD! Then I will slowly forget and get busy playing and doing normal (He he he...snicker) things. I in a way want a final showdown just to prove to myself that I really am as strong as I suspect. In another way I hope I never have to see him again. I think that I'm going to have to handle this one in a whole new way. Play defense. Then again it's probably not a good move to change my style for him. Hmmmm... That's about how the "what do I do about this" thought train runs now. We will see. I have faith that one way or another I will end this but one way would be seriously horrible. fnording last resorts! (note: I'm implying facing head on a mind fuck battle royal) advice welcome! (Comment on this)
9:41 pm	I missed it :( Hello every one! I went to my best friend's father's wedding last night. It was verrry nice. Tatiana, Her boyfriend, her cousins and I were all decked out in super formal wear (which is costume enough for us) and the overall effect was ummm interesting. Several people asked if we were filming the Sopranos. It was very entertaining. I would like to take a moment to give my praise to the bartender who is solely responsible for me missing the party. He is a wonderful man, even if tricky, sneaky and a general keeper of Cameo's from fabulous parties. My apologies to those who were looking forward to seeing me and my regrets to not being able to see those of you who I was really looking forward to seeing. On a different note I wrote a speech that Tatiana read during the ceremony and it was really well received. I also got a chance to dance again last night and it was wonderful, I always forget how much I truly love to dance until I'm on the floor. YAY DANCING!!!!! Now that all the fun is over I have to get back to suuper busy girl mode and get some work done. Again, I'm really sorry I couldn't make it. :( Note for the day.... What doesn't kill you .... makes you a more efficient killer. (Comment on this)
Friday, September 20th, 2002
12:23 pm	Pasatiempo There is this road on 17 headed toward Santa Cruz from San Jose, Pasatiempo. Every time I saw it I thought I know that place or maybe I'll live there someday. I feel a kinship with that place. I wonder what's down there? I wonder why I never went, yet? There is another place like that, Vargas road. I always saw it and filled with questions. I finally went there a couple weeks ago. It was beautiful. The trees are so tall. They stand sentinel on both sides of the barely one lane road. Only one road goes off of Vargas. Mountain something... It climbs up and winds around till you land in this desolate prairie-like place. I've only seen it at night, but the moon light makes the grass look like silvery blue threads. There are some tree on the top, sprawling gnarled oaks. They also remind me of guards, standing so sure, dissolving the trespasser with awe. I knew the second I reached the plateau that I needed to buy property there. I was trying to picture the lucky residents. I was trying to imagine how much bribery it would take to get them off my new place. Then I saw the sign. 372 ACRES REALTY WORLD parcels available and then the phone number. JOY immediate flooding release! I was so suddenly, cosmically pleased that I got straight out of the car and started planing where I wanted the house. One floor (don't want to get to far from the soil that brought me here in the first place) Big bay windows, Hard wood floors, Well placed carpets, (Perhaps some of the one's my Great-Grandfather left) Walk in closets. Ohhh a pool, I'll make it myself. Big rocks, the ones from Tahoe, Some from the Indian tree, Some from every special place from every town I ever lived in. The most important thing... The temple. Away from the house. all murals and windows a second lining to parts of the wall to store equipment. Circular! Then reality tries to stomp me. You don't have any money till your twenty one and even then not enough to handle something like that. See this whole cycle has happened many times before. I see it, or him, or her. My mind starts spinning the picture. Then it happens. Six years is the longest a decision of mine has ever taken. I don't think that's the set "you will have it by then time" Just the current record. I will teach from this place. Have great councils. I will have the most entrancing garden. Buy a couple acres at a time if I must. Pasatiempo, will be before that I think. Probably with Tatiana. Note: I can make real sentences but this is supposed to be a record of thought right? How things happened and occurred to me right? So I think when you go through all the grammar and structure it changes how thing really went. I should go soon... But I think I'm saving it. I think I'm waiting on purpose. I'll know when it's the right time. I get in my Taurus (like me) and it will be time. I wonder what I'll see as pasatiempo. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 19th, 2002
7:20 pm	Dinner Party Hide well, My Love, They know the art of seek. Climb deep, My Joy, They walk on many-jointed souls. Burn slow, My Hope, They have oceans to rain. Speak subtle, My Only, They divine volumes from the stutter. Reach long, My Muse, They consume complete but travel thin, as locusts. Look hard, My Darling, They Dine at my house. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 16th, 2002
9:30 am	Morning I just roze. I'm still half wrapped in dreams. I forgot my password. Math is already trying invade my brain, horrid order *shudder* I'm going to Tahoe to see my mother on Thursday. I have a huge family. Their all crazy, not in the cute "oh their so quirky" way. My mom is one of the few of them that I wouldn't call evil. She's all smiles and sunshine and magick and love. She's also an active player at 43 yrs old. She still gets carded. I hope I look that good when I'm old. I had this dream that I met this mexican woman and her child. I was trying to talk to her child in my broken spanish. The child said something that I couldn't understand. I asked the woman what was said and she told me that the little girl had said "I've always known you." I talked with them for a while and then the woman said that she had some advice for me. She said take a walk down that creek, it's a lovely day for a walk. It was storming. I pulled out this flat board and set it on the water and pushed off the water with my other foot(I can't skate.) I was going along smoothly and then I fell over something. I got up to investigate and it was feet. Legs sticking out of the water. I pulled the person out. It was my dad. He was dead. I started CPR. After a while he woke up. He said he was fishing. He wouldn't believe me that he was dead. He said it was good that I came along though, he was really cold and he could have got frost bite. He looked like he didn't fit in his body. He was moving like a puppet. Then an alligator came out of the water. It snapped once at me to back me up and then it attacked my father. He lost his footing and then the alligator bit him. He poked his head above water to shout "I let myself get bit to distract from you honey!" Normally I'm very active in fights in my dreams but for some reason I just couldn't join the fray. My dad pulls out this long strange weapon. It looks like a cross between a knife and a saw. The teeth are all raged and oddly angled. He holds weapon like a samurai holds his sword and attacked the alligator. With every slice to the alligator it changed. It slowly morphed into my friend James. When my dad noticed he started acting even weirder and was half running half dancing up and down the creek. James asked me to sit with him while he died. I pulled him up and held him a while so he could get his balance he tried a couple steps to see if he could make it. He couldn't. I could feel the adrenalin pumping through me, so powerful. I picked him up and I carried him to the road. We talked while the mexican woman called an ambulance. James reminded me of some very important things and I woke up. Strange fruit. -Cameo (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 25th, 2002
12:03 pm	Beginning My first entry!!! I got this account because some of my new friends had them. Since they are all very interesting and intricate people, (and I promised,) I am writing again. The beginning is always hardest for me. Where to start? What to say first? I don't have to do anything today, that almost never happens. I have been missing old friends a lot lately and I hate that longing feeling. I lost weight again. I want to make plans for tonight because sometimes I get a little scary when I spend a lot of time alone. I'm not going to though, I need to plan.... maybe plot, figure out exactly what I'm doing. I miss my dog. She was great, she had those big understanding eyes. My best friend has those eyes too. Alright I have to go and start with the interior cleaning. Wish me luck, I might need it tonight. (3 Comments |Comment on this)